I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
