butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
