What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize