Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
