fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
