RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize