I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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