i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
