we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
