Swine flu is the new snow day.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
