I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
