I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
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i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize