I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
