I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
