There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line