You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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