hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for