You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
