i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
