just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize