Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
