but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I wish life had little blips of pornography
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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