After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
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He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
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the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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