just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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