don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
