i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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