I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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