sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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