...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
