he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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