i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
don't judge my taste in strippers
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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