My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
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