Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
