is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
