M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
