i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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