My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize