Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
