Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
