I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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