i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
