I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
