She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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