the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
