The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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