are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
