Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
