You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
