It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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