fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
