How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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