Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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