i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
