marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
We are all done wearing pants today
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Randomize
