I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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