I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
