You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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