Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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