Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
