Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
