can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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