i permit you to call me
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
