google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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